NANTON MAN BUILDS A BETTER MOUSETRAP

Jul 4, 2015
2 min read

LOCAL SCHEMER STARTS SMALL NEWSPAPER EMPIRE ...

Vows to become overnight millionaire or drink case of beer trying

This week is an experiment in the genius that is micro-distribution. I mean, just look at how freaking adorable these news boxes are. They also double as a trap for small rodents. (Unnecessarily detailed story below.)

A NOT-SO BRIEF HISTORY OF THESE HERE MINI BOXES:

After the Great Papier Mâché Disaster of 20-aught-9 (above), local miniature newspaper publisher, me, imagined a better world—a Nanton in which miniature newspapers could be unashamedly displayed on bars and countertops.

Impervious to the inebriated and compulsive picking of bar-folk. No longer soggy at the slightest touch of moisture. People for miles around will inquire as to their handicraftedness, no longer just wondering what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is that giant mess.

Well, I am proud to report to you, faithful reader, we now live in that better world. The proof is in the little box from which you may have just fetched this fine little newspaper. (Or on which you just scraped your hand and are now cursing me, as the case may be.) But which is almost certainly not the case!—since I took great care making these snares I mean, newspaper receptacles. I beared in mind the Petercratic Oath: First cause no tetanus.

This here experiment in mini-newspaper boxes spans thousands of kilometers. Little known fact, the metal boxes are reused Coleman camp fuel containers which were found in a recycling pile at George Metuq and Nikki Eegeesiak's cabin outside of Iqaluit, Nunavut. (Thanks, George and Nik!)

They then travelled by qamuttik to town by way of a beautiful Portuguese princess who scrubbed them in her bathtub and airmailed them to me in Calgary.

With the help of the mythical and justonehelluvaguy, Paul Hern, owner of Replicate Designs in Calgary, (below) this editor cut the metal and spray-painted the lot of them ...

... and only managed to cut myself 18 times.

With the expertise of Alex at Fieldstones in Nanton, who gave me feedback on the design which he deemed “cutthroat,” then lent me a band saw to make them less likely to seriously injure anyone. And Chirs at Home Hardware helped me each of the many trips I made to the store and forgot what I needed.

It surely takes a village to raise a miniature newspaper.

The result is this: a respectable attempt at some kind of craftsmanship that stands a pretty good chance of not injuring anyone too badly. It also doubles as a useful gopher/mousetrap.

Enjoy, Nanton. And please for the love of Pete, careful with those sharp edges. x