HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS BAR!...

...HEADLINE USED IN SHAMELESS PLOY TO ADVERTISE NEW ROOFTOP PATIO.

NANTON, ALBERTA

In this Experiment we examine what miniature newspaper editors all across, well, mostly just Nanton, are billing as the world’s premier topless bar, Fieldstones Coffee & Wine on Main (20 St).

As you can see, Alex WAS pleasantly surprised after turning the page. See!—I only print the truth!

The experiment comes in response to Fieldstones rooftop patio co-owner Simon Hunt’s repeated inquiries to this editor of “—so, where the hell is our ad in here?”

Therefore this issue’s experiment is a test in whether innuendously promoting a topless bar in a mini newspaper will result in hoardes of customers to this fine café/outdoor patio, or rather, just a lot of customers who are disappointed and embarassed after the café’s staff awkwardly explain the misunderstanding.

Either way, you’ll probably want a beer.

What else can I say?—Fieldstones has lots of fancy drinkypoos, good beer, wine, coffee, homemade soup, sandwiches and the second-best view in town, that is, right after Rob across the way in his underwear making breakfast. Ya. We all saw. ... Sorry man!

That is all.